My (almost) 2 year-old son is a scavenger. He will lay in wait until the pantry door opens, then pops out of nowhere and gets his sticky hands on whatever you don’t want him to have. This morning his haul included a carton of Robin’s Eggs from Easter. Note that it is July and the trash would be a better place for them.
A meltdown ensued about the “bird eggs.” I tried to distract him, but nothing was good enough. He turned off the TV, turned around and glared at me, when I hoped to distract him with Mater’s Tall Tales. He threw an opened Nutrigrain bar on the floor and his body convulsed as he expressed the rage of a thousand hot suns through dance.
It was then that I took the carton and offered to scramble the “bird eggs for him.” He stopped in his tracks, said a calm sugary “OK”, and I disappeared into the kitchen. I knew whatever I made needed to look slightly magical, so this is what he ended up eating.
Chickens are birds, but let’s not mince words here. I lied. I omitted parts of the truth and deliberately deceived him. I doubt that gold medal rationalizing we do about how it is technically true holds up very well on judgement day. Some might say that it’s fine. It was for his own good. He couldn’t eat 4-month-old Easter candy for breakfast. I started thinking about some of the other times I have deceived him. I’ve seen him pull DVD’s I really don’t want to watch out of the cabinet. I said that those movies work better in the car and recommended ones I find less irritating. That one was purely selfish, but why do I feel like these cases are equally wrong? Because the truth is important. It is more important than nutrition, than tantrums, and even Super Grover. It doesn’t really matter why I did it. We have the ultimate model of how we are to love our children in the way that our Heavenly Father loves us. He would never lie to or deceive us. He cannot because He is Truth.
How bad was what I did? I guess I’ll find out when I go to confession. In the meantime, I’ve got some penance to do with the SpotBot. Remember that Nutrigrain bar my son threw on the floor? My other scavenger quietly found it, ate some of it, and smashed the rest into the carpet while I watched my oldest happily eat his eggs.
Preview of the 9 month checkup. Doctor: This baby is a little overweight. Have you been feeding her anything unusual? Me: Gulp. Must…Not….Lie.