How to Announce a Pregnancy to your Students in 5 Confusing Steps

I have neglected this blog, for reasons that might be made clear by the post title. You see, while I no longer can say that I have two children under 2, I will soon have the distinct privilege of having 3 children under 3. So when one combines the normal amount of busyness that a school year brings with the involuntary napping that a third (or any) pregnancy brings, you have a recipe for blog neglect. So in case you wanted to follow in my clunky, awkward, reproductive footsteps, I provide you with 5 confusing steps for telling your class.

Step One: Spend the first few weeks of school making yourself like a masterful, confusing wizard, who though easy to learn from, always has a trick up her sleeve. Between some of the brain tricks I taught them, and the made-up tests I was running on their observational skills, my class got to thinking that everything was a trick or a test and that I was in fact far more deliberate of a person than I really am. “Everything is on Purpose. Everything Speaks.” baha Ok, Quantuum Learning, let’s say I do everything on purpose.

Step Two: Establish some daily routines that are actually on purpose and not confusing. While I like to think I have many procedures and routines that are not confusing, the one that matters for this story is Grammar Warmups. Daily Editing Warmups are the first thing they do in the morning.

Step Three: Write this on your board:

Edit the sentences below for punctuation.

Mrs ********* is pregnant dont mention it lets see who notices

Step Four: Watch the confusion unfold. Remember they are used to you messing with them or tricking them, even if you only ever tricked them once, so some kids didn’t process that news for an entire hour. Once it has sunken in, realize that they will react the same way to your third pregnancy that most adults do. “No, cause you just had one.”

Step Five: Cryptically announce the pregnancy to friends and relatives by making a blog post about it on your deeply neglected blog .

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