Mom Hairs

To the untrained eye, it would appear that this person (me) has terrible split ends, or let the neighbor kid try to give her bangs. But you know better, these are mom hairs.

During pregnancy, you don’t lose much hair. After the kid is out, you make up for lost time. A few months down the road, you’ve got a bumper crop of awkwardly short hairs.

Mom hairs aren’t discussed very much, but “mom hair” is. This refers to the shorter, layered coif that one adopts after becoming a mother. Society recognizes this and believes that the reason for this haircut is because babies pull on your hair or that it is easier to maintain while your world is in blissful disaster. Those sound just believable enough, but that isn’t the real reason for mom hair. The real reason for this hairstyle is that through the magic of mom hairs, it is self-producting. Observe, the explanatory sketch I have drawn on what would have been a perfectly good piece of printer paper were it not found wrinkled under the kitchen table.

I’m not really trying to spread awareness on this issue. My mom hairs are finally long enough for me to tuck them almost out of sight. I think we can go on letting the public believe that our practical haircuts are low maintenance and prevent injuries.  Yes, let’s do that.